The Count's World, Episode 3
by The Great Allie
Summary: When a chain chomp follows Mimi home, she decides to keep it at a pet. Hijinks ensue. Meanwhile, Count Bleck is looking for answers to his questions about the Pure Hearts.
1. 3 dash 1

EPISODE 3-1

* * *

Dimentio woke up suddenly. He jumped out of bed and put his hands in front of him, in a defensive mode, ready to protect himself, to fight. But nobody was there.

He lowered his hands slowly. 'How strange,' he thought. 'What on earth could have woken me up?' He rubbed his stomach. 'Perhaps it's time for breakfast?'

A quick check of the time proved to him that it was _not_ time for breakfast- it was 3:27 in the morning.

"Hm," he mused out loud. Well, something must have woken him up. Was it too cold?

No.

Was he still feeling sick?

No.

Was the Chaos Heart calling him to bring about the end of all worlds?

…No.

What, then?

So he decided the best (that is to say, easiest) thing to do was to go back to bed and forget it ever happened. After all, he was still extremely tired.

He was snuggled back under the covers, and right away started to drift off to sleep. It was very likely he would have fallen asleep almost immediately, and had the entire event wiped clean from his memory by it, had it not happened again.

This time, since he was already mostly awake, he heard it. It was the sound of chains rattling loudly and banging against brick or stone- a _very_ distinctive sound. It was coming from down the hall to the west, the direction of Mimi's bedroom.

Dimentio stuck his head out of his room and checked the halls. Nobody else was up at this hour. It was unlikely anybody else had been disturbed, since Dimentio and Mimi had the only bedrooms on the second floor of the west wing.

"Goodness, I wonder if Mimi is all right," he said to no one in particular. "Even if she is, I'd better go and see what the trouble is…"

He dragged his sleepy self down the hall to Mimi's room. Once he was next to her room, he could clearly hear clinking, clanking, growling, and soft talking.

Dimentio knocked on the door. "Oh, Mimi!" he sang. "I do hope I'm not interrupting your beauty sleep, but would you mind telling me exactly what you are doing in there?"

"Nothing!" Mimi called through the door. "Go 'way!"

Dimentio knocked on the door again. "Whatever is coming from this room is keeping me awake."

"I have it under control!"

"If you had it under control, I would be asleep right now."

"It'll be quiet again in a minute!"

"I'm coming in."

Dimentio turned the knob and was just opening the door when Mimi threw herself onto it from the other side and bodily held it shut. "No, no!" she shouted. "Don't come in. You can't call on a girl when she's still in her sleepers!"

They had a brief shoving match against the door, but Dimentio found he couldn't budge it. He slowly let up the pressure on the door and waited for a moment until Mimi was confident that he wasn't shoving against her. Then, a split second after she released her pressure, he shoved his whole body onto the door and it tumbled open.

They both tumbled and went sprawling into the room. Dimentio went head over heels and landed flat on his back, staring up at the face of a black chain chomp.

"Ah," he said. "It all makes sense now."

Mimi grabbed the back end of the chain chomp's chain. She was busy trying to attach it to a hook in the wall- there were quite a few gouges in the wall by her bed that signified she had not been entirely successful in previous attempts to restrain the chomp.

Dimentio sat up and rubbed his head. "Is this a real chain chomp?" he asked, completely taken aback. "Do you actually have a real live chain chomp in your room?"

Mimi grabbed the chomp's head in a big bear hug. "She followed me home," she explained. "Her name is Charlotte and she's my best friend."

The chomp growled and lunged forward at nothing in particular. Chain chomps were very unpredictable in their charges. It gnashed its teeth a few times and growled some more.

"That thing is a vicious wild animal," said Dimentio. "There's no way you will be able to keep it a secret in your room for more than a few hours."

"I know," Mimi said. "But you won't tell anyone, will you? I mean, I don't want anybody to know until I have it all figured out. That shouldn't take very long! Please don't tell anybody!"

Dimentio looked at the chain chomp. It looked back at him with empty, dizzy eyes. It gnashed its teeth a few times and made small yipping noises. Then it started bouncing around in a little circle.

"I think I'm going to have to," said Dimentio at length.

"You can't!' Mimi yelped. "Please, I'll take care of everything! Charlotte's going to be a good girl from now on!"

"Oh, I'm telling!"

"You wouldn't!"

Dimentio grinned at her, but a second before she could react he disappeared.

"He would! Oh, no, now I'm gonna get in trouble," Mimi wailed. "What am I gonna do, Charlotte?"

Charlotte bounced back and forth, and let out a few wild barks.

"I know!" Mimi suddenly bounced up and clapped her hands. "I'll head him off!"

She ran out the door as fast as she could, slamming it shut behind her. She slammed it shut so hard, in fact, that it bounced open again. 

* * *

Count Bleck wasn't asleep. He was up late again, pouring over the pages of the Dark Prognosticus by candlelight. Nobody knew he still read that book, not Nastasia, not his minions, and most certainly not Tippi. He especially kept the book's presence hidden from Dimentio, who would probably be only too happy to know it was still in the castle.

He was looking for answers. The love of his life was still not human, even though the Pure Hearts had given her that form back. He wanted to know why. Most of all, he wanted to know how to set it right. In a situation like this, the Light Prognosticus would have the most answers, but the Dark Prognosticus was all he had for the time being. He hoped that it, too might have some answers of it's own. Because the Light Prognosticus was only written to counteract the dark one, it had more detailed information about the Pure Hearts. But the Dark Prognosticus mentioned them, too. If only he could get a clue, just one solitary clue… That was why he had been staying up late, reading the book closer than ever before.

The door to his bedroom was slammed open and Mimi bolted into the room, waving her arms and shrieking frantically, "It's a lie, it's a lie, everything he says is a lie, I do _not_ have a chain chomp named Charlotte in my room, he's just trying to get me in trouble!"

Count Bleck sighed inwardly and closed the dark book. First he checked to see if the shouting had woken Tippi, who was sleeping on the far side of the room. It had not. Then he turned around on his chair and leaned down so he was eye-to-eye with Mimi, who was panting madly.

"Tell me, Mimi," he said. "Who is Charlotte?"

Mimi giggled. "Did I say Charlotte? I meant… I meant… Um, never mind…" She started to back away slowly, an innocent grin on her face.

Count Bleck shook his head and prepared to give a lecture. "You can't keep a chain chomp in your room," he said. "Chain chomps are vicious creatures that are only good for guarding or attacking, not for pets. It will make a mess of the entire wing. It will terrorize everybody that gets close to it. It will keep everyone up all night. No, it's simply a bad idea all around."

"Don't make me give up Charlotte! She's my best friend!"

"I don't have time for this," the Count said, getting quite annoyed. "I have a _lot_ of work to do. If that chain chomp is still here in the morning, _you_ had better not be."

Mimi crossed her arms and glowered. Then, suddenly, she noticed the book on his desk. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"That's none of your concern," said Count Bleck. "Now go and get rid of that chain chomp."

Mimi nodded slowly, turned around, and slowly started to walk out of the room. When she opened the door, Count Bleck turned back to his book and opened it back to the page he'd left off at. He heard the door close quietly, so he pulled the candle closer to his book.

Suddenly, he felt Mimi land on his back! She'd skittered up behind him and jumped onto his back to take him by surprise. He almost cried out in surprise, but he didn't want to wake Tippi.

"What are you _doing_?" Mimi gasped, looking over his shoulder at the book.

Count Bleck slammed the book shut. He tried to close it quietly, but he was angrier than he realized. Then he grabbed Mimi by the collar and plunked her back on the ground.

"You said you were done with that!" Mimi said anxiously.

"I have _very_ important information to gather, and I am using this book as a lead." Count Bleck was using the last of his patience to say that calmly and quietly.

Mimi backed up nervously.

"I'm trying to undo the last of the damage," the Count explained. "I want Timpani to be a human again, and this is the only thing I can think of."

"But what about the tempting allure of the dark secrets?"

"Bleh heh heh heh…" Count Bleck chuckled. "I'm quite finished with the dark secrets of this book… they've brought me nothing but pain and frustration. I want only for the last of our suffering to be eased. You can understand that, can't you?"

"Ohhh… I get it." Mimi said. "It's like when you're sitting on a tack, and you need to use evil pliers to get it out of the chair?"

Count Bleck stared at her.

"Gimme a break, it's four in the morning."

"You can not tell_anybody_ about this," Count Bleck continued. "Not Nastasia, not O'Chunks, and especially not Dimentio."

"Well that goes without saying." Mimi shifted on her feet. "Um… Count?"

"Yes, Mimi?"

"Does Tippi know?"

Count Bleck shook his head. "No. _Timpani_ does not know."

"How come you get an evil book but I don't get an evil dog?"

By now Count Bleck was ready to do anything to get her out of the room and leave him to his work. He had to finish and get at least a little bit of sleep before he had to wake up and resume his duties as the head of the castle. That was why he decided to take the easy way out, for the time being.

"Fair's fair," he said. "If you can keep that… Charlotte under control… you may keep her." He cast a quick glance across the room, to where Tippi was sleeping. "But if you tell anybody, anybody at all what you saw me doing tonight…" He shook his head. "Your chain chomp is as good as gone, in that scenario."

"Nooo! Not Charlotte!" Mimi squealed. "I'll take care of her! You won't even notice she's here! I promise!"

Count Bleck clapped his hand over her mouth. "Will you keep your voice down?" he hissed. "Do you want to wake the whole dimension?"

Mimi giggled. "Oopsy. I'll just be going now."

"Great. Good. Fine." He pointed to the door. "Now go to _sleep_!"

"Yes, Count," she said. "Maybe you should get some sleep, too."

The Count put his face in his hand and groaned. "Yes. I will consider that. If you would please leave, now."

Mimi left the room, for real this time- Count Bleck watched her open the door, cross the threshold, and close it again. Then he went over to the door and locked it. After that, he took the Dark Prognosticus and locked it away for safe keeping, in the secret place he'd been keeping it all along. Then he went to bed himself, and for the next few hours, no one in all of Castle Bleck was awake. All was as it should be.


	2. 3 dash 2

EPISODE 3-2

* * *

Nastasia made an Omelette Meal for everybody for breakfast the next morning, as well as a pitcher of Fresh Juice. Nastasia made breakfast every morning. It used to be that whoever was up and hungry first made breakfast for the rest, but it turned out that she was always up ages before everybody else.

It killed her a little inside every time she did it. It was as if she was playing the housewife, making a simple breakfast for the man she loved, and what was essentially their family. Sometimes she dreamed that she really was his wife, making breakfast for him and their children. He would go off to work and she would stay home, taking care of the household. And then he would come home and they would sit together on the loveseat, talking about their days, or talking about their future, or not talking at all and just enjoying each other's company. Any life with the Count was one she dreamed of.

Oh, well. No sense in dwelling on what can never be. She finished setting the table and waited for the aroma of fresh breakfast to draw everybody else to the dining hall.

Count Bleck arrived first, just like in her daydream.

"Good morning, Nastasia," he said. "Have you noticed anything unusual in the castle this morning?"

"Unusual like what?"

He sat down at the head of the table. "If you have to ask, you haven't seen it."

Nastasia sat down at the other end and began to eat, as well. "What's on the agenda for today, Count?" she asked.

"I have to take care of some business myself," he said. "It shouldn't take more than a few hours." He took a bite of omelette, chewed slowly, and swallowed. Then he spoke again, "Have you seen Mimi yet this morning?"

"No," said Nastasia. "I haven't seen anybody yet, except for you."

"Hm."

"Is something going on?"

"Yes."

She sat still and waited for him to continue. When it was clear that he wasn't, she prompted him, "So, uh, what _is_ going on, then?"

Count Bleck swallowed another bite. "You'll find out soon enough."

"Well, that's not soon enough."

They continued to eat in silence for a while longer. After they were about half done, Nastasia checked the time.

"Something on your mind?" asked Count Bleck?

"They're never this late for a breakfast appointment," said Nastasia. "Um, do you think something's keeping them?"

"Undoubtedly."

She waited for him to continue, but again, he seemed more intent on finishing his breakfast than continuing this line of conversation.

"Do you want me to go check on them or something?"

"Nastasia, I'm eating breakfast," said Count Bleck with a hint of playful annoyance in his voice. "I don't care about anything else until I'm full."

Just then, the doors to the dining hall were thrown open and O'Chunks came barreling into the room.

"'Ey! Count!" he shouted as he ran up to the table. "Yeh gotta… there's somethin' goin' on 'ere in the castle! The whole west wing's been torn right to the beams! It's like a mess o' demons came in the night an'—an'—yeh gotta get down there an' see fer yerself!"

Count Bleck put his fork down and pushed his seat out. "I have a feeling I know what's 'chunked' the wing. Show Count Bleck."

He followed O'Chunks across the castle, to the west wing. In the hallway that had Mimi and Dimentio's bedrooms, they saw more destruction than had been ravaged on King Sammer's entire kingdom. The walls were smashed in and torn up all the way down. They were so damaged that the force keeping the ceiling above them was a mystery. All the doors were pulled off their hinges, every piece of furniture had been torn and gnawed, the black rug had been pulled up, and the windows were smashed. Broken glass littered the floor from here to the next dimension.

Count Bleck made a beeline for Mimi's room. The door was hanging on by a single screw in the top hinge. He took the diamond end of his staff and tapped gently on the door.

It fell to the floor.

"Oh, Mimi," said the Count in the most non-threatening way he could manage. "Mimi, are you in there?"

"Ain't nobody here but us linens!" she squeaked.

Count Bleck peered into her room. The destruction had devastated her room as well- desk, bookcase, and vanity alike were mangled almost beyond recognition. Even her prized wardrobe was strewn about the room, the dresses she wore so proudly torn to confetti.

He saw a lump on her bed, and guessed that this was where she was hiding. He crossed the room and sat down on her bed next to her.

"Mimi, where's Charlene?"

"Charlotte," Mimi corrected from under the covers.

"Charlotte, then," Count Bleck corrected himself.

"She's sleeping on Dimentio's bed."

"I see. And, where is Dimentio?"

"I think she ate him."

"Now 'ang on just a goomba-stompin' second," O'Chunks cut in. "Who is this 'Charlotte'?"

"Charlotte is a chain chomp," Count Bleck explained. "Mimi's convinced it's a pet."

"Charlotte is a good girl," Mimi said. She poked her head out from the sheets and looked up at Count Bleck with pleading eyes. "You don't know her like I do."

"Mimi, you've had her for one day," Count Bleck tried to reason. But Mimi looked up at him with such big Bambi eyes that he lost his train of thought.

Dimentio popped into the room, right above Mimi and Count Bleck. He was grinning like he usually did, but there was more than just a causal suggestion of malice in it this time.

"My dear Mimi," he said, "I do hate to interrupt your little powwow with the Count, but were you planning on moving that monstrosity out of my room so that I can continue to use it?"

Mimi looked up at the Count. "I need help," she moaned.

"O'Chunks, I believe that this is your department," said Count Bleck. "Would you do me a favor and remove the chain chomp from Dimentio's bedroom, and then restrain it somewhere?"

"Ah," O'Chunks grinned. "Now that is somethin' I can do." He cracked his knuckles. "One minute there, Count!"

Count Bleck held up his hand. "If you please, O'Chunks… Mimi has grown quite attached to the little darling."

O'Chunks scowled.

"Consider it an extra challenge," Count Bleck coaxed. "Any warrior can overtake an ordinary chain chomp, no problem… but you're going to overpower it without bringing any harm to it. Do you have the chunks to carry out such a delicate and difficult mission?"

"Does 'e 'ave the chunks, 'e says!" O'Chunks let out a gruff laugh. He struck a warrior pose and said, "That's like askin' if me beard needs a trim, 'cause the answer's always the same. IT DOESN'T! Chunks away!"

And with that, he was gone, to out-chunk Charlotte down the hall.

"I wonder if he listens to himself when he talks," Dimentio mused. "Or do you think his sentences just happen that way?"

"Gosh, I'm sorry I caused so much trouble, Count," said Mimi. "She must have got out last night when I was asleep. Or… maybe when I went to see you… the door was still open. I thought she was asleep then but I guess she… um…"

"Don't worry about it," said Count Bleck. "After all, once you clean up this mess, then there will be no harm done."

"Yeah, I guess," said Mimi. "Wait, what?"

Dimentio laughed, "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's what you get for allowing that wretched beast to nest itself on _my bed_."

Mimi looked up at him. "Well, I'm sorry," she said, "but she chose that place as her territory. What do you want me to do about it?"

Dimentio was about to answer, but then he thought the better of it and disappeared.

Count Bleck was silent for a while, and eventually Mimi relaxed enough to crawl out from in the sheets and sit next to him on the bed. They waited without talking for a long while, until O'Chunks returned to the room.

"She's tied up on a chain out front," he said. "It took a wee bit o' doin', but she's calm enough for a chomp. It was a sight, too- I never seen a chomp with a bow on 'er head. How'd yeh get it up there, anyway?"

"Very carefully," Mimi replied.

"Wonderful." Count Bleck stood up and crossed the room to the door. "Mimi, I want you to take care of everything that chomp—that Charlotte did. I am going out and will not return for several hours, at most."

He held one hand out to the side, revealing the celestial abyss of his cape. "Nastasia is in charge," he added before disappearing.

Mimi tugged on O'Chunk's arm. "O'Chunks," she said, "Will you please help me clean up the mess?"

"Ah, sure," O'Chunks said with a shrug. "I ehn't got nothin' better to do… and yeh'll need all the help yeh can get, won't yeh?"

Dimentio's voice carried down the hall. "I'm not helping!" he shouted.


	3. 3 dash 3

EPISODE 3-3

EPISODE 3-3

Count Bleck was in Flipside.

He didn't fit in. All the confidence he had been experiencing only a week or so before in Rogueport had leaked out of him like water from a goldfish bag. He was standing in the shadow of the tower in Flipside. He could see the people walking back and forth, taking care of their own little tasks in their own little lives. If he so much as moved an inch, they would see him.

Right next to him, so close he could lean over and touch it, was the answer to his problems. Merlon's house. And inside Merlon's house, the Light Prognosticus. The Light Prognosticus would have everything he needed to know about the Pure Hearts in it somewhere. Perhaps Merlon himself already knew everything about the Purity Heart and would be able to give Count Bleck any answer he needed. All he had to do was knock on the door, introduce himself, and ask…

They would know him here, he knew it. He had caused so much pain and suffering to these people. He had done so much evil. Surely they would remember that, and what would they do? Would they just hand over the Light Prognosticus, simple as that, "Oh, here you go, have it back by Wednesday for book club?" Ha! As if.

And yet… all he had to do was ask. All he had to do was reach out, knock on the door, and ask. Someone as kind-hearted as Merlon would see the regret in his eyes, the desire for redemption… the love for his wife. Would Merlon do it for Tippi, if not for him? He had known Timpani as Tippi for quite a while, and they had been close friends. Tippi had later spoken to Bleck about how much Merlon had meant to her during those times when she had no memories. When she had nothing else to depend on, she could depend on Merlon. Merlon would do anything to help her, wouldn't he?

You won't know unless you ask, he reminded himself.

It would be so easy. Just step out, knock on the door, and ask. All your problems will be over.

Right, he thought sarcastically. All your problems will be over because the second they see you here, they are going to end your game on the spot.

No! No negative thoughts! Where's that charm and confidence you used to have, that Timpani fell for? Now is not the time for pity and woe-is-me and boo-hoo-hoo-ing. Just step out of the shadow, knock on the door, Hi my name is Blumiere, and take it from there.

It would be so easy.

It would be so easy.

All you have to do is ask.

It would be so easy…

* * *

It took the rest of the morning and a good portion of the afternoon to finish cleaning up the aftereffects of Charlotte's rampage. True to his word, O'Chunks had helped Mimi the whole time. Nastasia pitched in as well, using her magic to put things back together. She was even able to restore Mimi's precious wardrobe, so now Mimi was now eternally indebted to her. After they finished, Mimi went outside to visit Charlotte.

Charlotte was still firmly attached to the castle wall out by the front walk. O'Chunks had installed a hook in the wall and attached Charlotte's chain to the hook. Now Charlotte couldn't hop away freely, and the wall was strong enough that she couldn't tear the hook out. So now she was bouncing back and forth, barking and yipping like a chain chomp does.

"Good girl," Mimi cooed as she rubbed Charlotte on the head. She had brought an armload of things with her from her vanity. "Now we're going to make you look pretty." She set the items down and began to go through them one by one. "Look at what I brought for you. Here's some makeup. You'll look pretty once we get some nice lipstick on you, maybe hilight your cheeks and eyes. I have this dress that would look so cute over your chain. It'll look just like you have a little body! Tee hee! And then once you're as cute as I am, we can go to town and look for Mr. Chomp. Won't that be fun?"

Dimentio could see Mimi and Charlotte from his bedroom window, although they were little more than bugs to him from that distance.

"Look at that," Dimentio said to no one in particular, although Nastasia happened to be passing by. "What is the deal with Mimi and that chain chomp? She's treating it as if it were a little purse dog, or a dress-me-up doll. Or some ungodly combination of the two."

Nastasia took it upon herself to answer the statement. "Yeah, well, Mimi finds it easy to get attached to things, you know? She's a lot younger than you are, anyway. Didn't you ever have, say, a childhood pet or a toy that played your imaginary friend?"

"No," said Dimentio, "I never had an imaginary friend."

"Sometimes I think all your friends are imaginary," she said under her breath.

Dimentio caught it. "What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded.

"Look, I have an appointment, 'K? I'll talk to you later." She left his doorway and continued down the hall.

"I don't recall ever asking for your opinion anyway," Dimentio said, again to no one in particular. He turned back out the window and saw Mimi, still playing with Charlotte. Now they were playing Fetch, or Tug, or some sort of dog game.

"A monstrosity like that has no place in the fine halls of Castle Bleck," Dimentio said. "In fact, I believe I shall do this magnificent bastion a favor and take care of the beast. Ah ha ha ha ha ha…"

* * *

Nastasia was sitting in her office. Count Bleck was supposed to have arrived by now to help her take care of business, and he hadn't. The business was sitting across her desk in the form of two X-Naut soldiers, patiently waiting quietly.

"Let's get this started then, shall we," she said to them. "So, um, can you give me your names?"

"Yeah," said the first X-Naut. "My name is Sherwood, and this is Gary."

Nastaisa made a note of that. "K… any experience working in this field?"

"We've been X-Nauts since Sir Grodus first started the organization," said Sherwood. "Before that, I was a gate guard in my town."

"Reason for leaving your last job?"

"The, uh, the organization lost it's direction," Sherwood said, gathering his thoughts carefully. "Ever since our leader's just a head, he's lost his passion for taking over the world. We've been sitting at our base near Fahr Outpost since 2005 waiting for something to go down, and it hasn't, so we're expanding our horizons."

Nastasia gestured to Gary. "And, what do you have to say about it?"

"Gary doesn't talk," Sherwood explained. "He's autistic. I've been looking out for him since we were stationed together. Don't worry!" he added quickly. "He learns fast and he can do anything you show him. He'd be a great asset to any organization. He does math like a _demon_."

Nastasia eyed Gary curiously. Gary was looking in her general direction.

"Our organization does value diversity," she said. "We've never had anybody with a disability in our ranks. The minions could learn from him."

Sherwood breathed a sigh of relief.

"Any special skills I should know about?" Nastasia continued.

"Um, I run up real fast to guys and bonk them on the head for three points of damage," said Sherwood. "Um… Gary does that, too."

"Is that it?"

"That's all I can think of."

Nastasia wrote a few more notes down on her paper. "So, tell me, where do you see yourself a year from now?"

Sherwood checked his watch. "Probably eating lunch," he said. "On a patio under a sunny umbrella. With a girlfriend."

"I mean career-wise."

"Oh. Um, working in the same field I am now, but more advanced." Sherwood scratched the back of his head. Gary started to fidget in his seet.

Sherwood waved his hand in front of Gary to get his attention. "Sit still, okay? We're almost outta here."

Gary clicked his mouth.

"Don't you take that tone with me."

Nastasia put her clipboard down. "So, we're almost done here," she said. "Yeah, so, we've got your number on file, so we'll be in contact with you within the week… 'K?"

"K," said Sherwood. He stood up and they shook hands. "Thanks very much for meeting with me. Come on, Gary, let's go get some burgers or something..."

"Have a nice day."

Sherwood opened the door and left with Gary. They passed Count Bleck in the doorway.

"Excuse me," said Count Bleck.

"Pardon," said Sherwood at the same time.

"You missed it," Nastasia said after Count Bleck closed the door. "Where were you?"

"Taking care of some things," Count Bleck answered. "Were those the X-Nauts from Rogueport?"

"Yeah," said Nastasia. "Their interview was very successful. I'd recommend extending an invitation to them to join the team. But, of course, it's your call."

Count Bleck pulled his hat down over his eyes, as he always did when he was thinking. It was as if he was shielding his eyes from visual distractions to give him a complete inward focus.

At length, he said, "I believe I'll give it some thought." He put his arms back at rest. "After all, we have to ask ourselves if this is really the best time to be hiring. We can barely control the minions we have."

Just then, Dimentio appeared in the room. He held his arms out and grinned joyfully. "You'll never guess what Charlotte's doing!" he said happily.

Count Bleck put his face in his hands and groaned.

"That chomp has got to go," he grumbled.


	4. 3 dash 4

EPISODE 3-4

Charlotte had finally managed to break free of her chain-link prison. After working at the hook in the castle wall for most of the day, she had managed to pull the hook out of the wall. She was now bounding excitedly all over the front of the castle, hopping and barking and generally behaving in ways typical to a chain chomp.

Count Bleck was watching her from the window in the entry hall. Nastasia, Mimi, Dimentio, Tippi, and O'Chunks were all gathered around.

"I can't tell yeh how it happened," O'Chunks was pleading. "I'm sure I hooked 'er up tighter'n an angry fist."

"Chomps have ways of breaking free, on occasion," said Count Bleck. "It's just something they can do."

"It's okay, I'll get her," said Mimi, reaching to open the door.

Count Bleck grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back. "You will do no such thing," he said harshly. "That chomp may be a best friend to you, but you can be sure it doesn't view you in the same way."

"What? Charlotte loves me," Mimi scoffed. "I gave her that neat-o makeover."

"Chomps don't appreciate makeovers," said Nastasia. "And, um, how exactly did you manage to get it in that dress?"

Mimi paused. "… I don't want to talk about it," she finally mumbled.

"I should have put a stop to this when I first heard about it," Count Bleck continued. "Now we're going to have to ship Charlotte out."

"Ohh…" Mimi whined. "I don't want Charlotte to go!"

"Yes, you've made that clear." Count Bleck pulled his hat over his eyes and thought for a moment. With his vision blocked by the brim, he had a few seconds in his own private mind to think the situation through.

He was thinking so hard, in fact, that he didn't catch himself thinking out loud. "I never even would have let her stay if you hadn't caught me with that…" but he trailed off as his mind changed gears.

Mimi heard him talking under his breath. "I would never have told anybody I'd caught you reading the Dark Prognosticus, Count Bleck!" she said indignantly.

Count Bleck looked up, panicked. Mimi's hands flew to her mouth.

"Oooooooooops," she mumbled. "Not on purpose, anyway."

Tippi jerked in surprise. "You were doing _what_?"

"You still have that old thing lying around?" Dimentio asked teasingly.

"This is why I never tell you anything!" Count Bleck said angrily.

"Blumiere, why do you still have that awful book?"

"Hey, I worked hard on that," Dimentio said gloomily.

"What?"

"I said nothing."

"But I could have sworn you—"

"Nothing!"

Count Bleck changed the subject. "Timpani, I didn't have the book to do evil. I had it as a last chance to do something good."

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid it would hurt you," he said.

"If you were afraid it would hurt me," said Tippi, "why did you think it was all right to be doing at all?"

"Because I wanted to do something good!"

"That you were afraid would hurt me," Tippi finished.

Count Bleck opened his mouth to respond, closed it, and then opened it again for a moment before saying, "Yes. That is, as they say, the scenario."

"Count, I am soooo sorry!" Mimi cut in. "I just forget that I have a big mouth sometimes—"

Count Bleck spread his arms apart quickly and she stopped talking. Whenever Count Bleck spread out his cape, he commanded attention, and he got it.

"All right," said Bleck, "This is what we are going to do. Dimentio, you are going to use magic to send that _thing_ back where it came from. O'Chunks, back him up. Mimi, I don't want to hear another _word_ about Charlotte anymore, do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir," she mumbled.

"Do _you_ understand me?" he snapped at Dimentio and O'Chunks.

"Oh, yes, yes I do," said Dimentio. "Come along, O'Chunks. Let's teleport that chomper back where Mimi found it…"

* * *

"I'm not mad because you were reading the book," Tippi told Count Bleck as they walked away from the doorway together. "I know that in your heart you're a good person now."

"Then why are you mad?" asked Count Bleck. "You humans never make any sense to me."

"It's not a human thing," Tippi said. "It's a trust thing. And I'm not a human right now, anyway."

"You're still a human," said Count Bleck. "On the inside. I just wanted you to be human again on the outside. Is that what you want?"

"Of course I do," she said, "but if I spent the rest of my life like this, it would be all right as long as it was with you."

"Then why are you angry?"

"I'm not angry!" Tippi said, a little too angrily for her statement to have any validity. "I'm _upset_ because you were keeping secrets from me! If you really loved me, you'd trust me, and if you trusted me you would have told me."

"You know I love you!"

"I know you love me now, but what if that changes?"

Count Bleck again found himself speechless. He stopped walking on the spot, swayed a little, and leaned against the wall. He hit his face in his cape and took a long, long time to compose himself.

"Blumiere," said Tippi, "I'm not afraid we'll stop loving each other. Ours is a kind of love that's too pure for time to tarnish. If we want our love to stay pure, we have to treat it like a precious gem. Keep it polished, keep it safe, and treat it like a valuable treasure. I know we can do it, and I'm not afraid we can't, but we still have to try…"

Count Bleck didn't look at her. He started walking down the hallway again, trembling a little as he moved. Tippi fluttered close behind him.

"I'm sorry I was so angry with you," she said. "I mean, if it happens again… I'll talk to you before I yell at you. Okay?"

She fluttered up next to his face and saw that he wasn't crying at all- he was laughing.

"What are you laughing about?" Tippi demanded.

"This!" Count Bleck turned around and pulled Tippi into a large, though awkward, hug. "This whole thing! You're mad at me for keeping secrets from you to keep you from getting mad so that I can fix something that isn't entirely wrong to begin with! I finally feel like we're a married couple!"

"Whaaaat?"

"Bleh heh heh heh heh… Oh, it's nothing, Timpani… I just love you so much, that's all."

They walked off down the hall together, a picture-perfect moment for the purest couple.

* * *

Mimi cornered Dimentio as soon as he came back into the castle.

"Where did you send Charlotte?" she barked. "You'd better tell me."

"Relax," said Dimentio coolly. "Your precious Charlotte has been sent back to Bowser's Castle, where he belongs."

"She!"

"No," said Dimentio, "Charlotte was a male chomp."

"Was not!"

"It's hardly the thing you can argue, Mimi."

"Well, you stink!"

Dimentio shook his head. "My, my, my, there's no need for you to take your anger out on me like a spoiled child. After all, I was certainly not the only one who had a problem with your chomp chomp. I wasn't even the one who sent him away."

"You set it free the second time!" Mimi argued.

"You can't prove that I did."

"I know you did! You didn't like Charlotte and you don't want anybody to be happy since you don't rule the world!"

"I don't care about anyone else's happiness," Dimento said, the irritation beginning to rise in his voice. "I never did, nor did I ever pretend to. Your chomp stole my room and tore apart my possessions, and was in no way fit to belong as a pet in this castle. And I don't _care_ how you feel about it."

"Mimimimimimimimi!" Mimi cracked her neck. "Why don't you say that again, stupid face!"

* * *

Count Bleck closed his door as Dimentio tore down the hall, followed closely by spider-Mimi. "Amazing," he said to himself. "She cared so much for that chomp."

"Mimi gets attached to things very easily," said Tippi. "The chomp was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Nevertheless, Count Bleck has hatched a plan to make this all better." He held out his hand. "Come with me- we'll make it right."

* * *

Mimi was lying on her bed, writing furiously in her diary. She had gone on for pages about her love for Charlotte, how they had been best friends, and how they had been selfishly torn apart by the collective wills of all the rest. It was melodramatic, to be sure, but therapeutic as well.

There was a knock at the door.

Mimi slammed her diary shut and crammed it between the mattress and the box springs- the second most popular hiding place for a girl's diary. Make a note of that. (I personally keep mine under the ferret cage- who's going to have the guts to look there? If they do, they really earned it. I'm just sayin'.)

Anyway, Mimi shoved her diary into its hiding place, smoothed out the covers, and called out, "Who's there?"

"It's me, said Count Bleck."

"Go away! I don't wanna talk to you!" She crossed her arms and hunched over, getting ready to put on a pouty show in case he came in anyway.

"Come now," said Tippi from outside the room, "I think you'll like what we have for you."

"Is it Charlotte?"

"No," said Count Bleck. "It's not Charlotte… but it's as close as we could get."

Mimi paused, and eventually her curiosity won out over her petulance. "Okay," she said, "you can come in."

Count Bleck opened the door and Tippi flew straight into the middle of the room. Count Bleck followed behind slowly, carrying a small bundle in his arms. (For lack of a better word- he has to have _something_ there, doesn't he?)

"I've been thinking," said Count Bleck. "I think having a pet really would have done you good. Chain chomps just aren't good pet material."

"If you're trying to replace Charlotte, you can forget it," said Mimi.

Count Bleck gave the bundle a gentle stroke. "I thought you might say that," he said. "Why don't you at least take a look at what I have?"

He put the bundle on the bed and gave it a gentle prod. It stirred, and a small beanlet jumped eagerly out of the bag. It was decorated with a bright red bow around its neck and a dab of eye shadow on its face. It went to Mimi right away and started sniffing eagerly.

"Aww," said Tippi. "She likes you already."

Mimi crossed her arms and looked away. But the beanlet continued to sniff and sniff at her eagerly, so that she turned around and looked at it again. And once you've looked at an adorable, puppy-like bean creature, that's it. You've had it. She picked it up and it started nuzzling her face.

"It's not Charlotte," she said. "But it's not ugly, either. I'm gonna call her Félicie."

"Excellent choice, noted Count Bleck. The French feminine form of Felix meaning lucky or successful in Latin."

"I didn't know you were an etymologist," said Tippi.

Count Bleck gave Félicie a pat on the head. "Take care of this little one," said Count Bleck. "I'll leave you to get better aquainted with each other."

Count Bleck and Tippi left Mimi alone with Félicie. Mimi sat cross-legged on her bed and pulled out her diary.

"Okay," she said, "this is gonna take a little bit of work. I'm gonna show you how to look as pretty as you possibly can. You might wanna take notes…"

THE END

* * *

_I'm not entirely happy with the way this turned out, but I wanted to finish it and post it so that it would be done, and I could look at it retrospectively and learn something from it. This is how I wanted the story to go, but I wanted the characters to be a little more in-character and I lost a lot of the gags I wrote for it. Well, I hope that you like it, at least._


End file.
